Is It Wrong to Be a Woman?

Women are often expected to be perfect. Perfect in personality, attitude, education, appearance, career, and so on. Women are also expected to do domestic work such as cooking, yet not all women have that ability. If a woman is not good at cooking, some in society will regard it as shameful. We often hear remarks such as “how can a woman not know how to cook, what will she feed her husband later?” and “a woman must be able to cook, because a woman's duty is in the kitchen”. These remarks show that patriarchal culture is still embedded in the mindset of Indonesian society.

Patriarchy is a word we are no longer unfamiliar with in society. Although RA Kartini fought for women's right to study and work so as to become empowered, in fact patriarchal culture still thrives in Indonesian society today. At present, what women face is no longer a prohibition on studying or working, but the bad stigma that has been planted on women.

Patriarchy exists not only within families or communities. Even on social media, patriarchal culture is still propagated. On social media, we often hear things like “if you are pretty, you are safe”, “you're a girl, don't eat so much, you'll get fat”, “why are you so dark and grubby, you're a girl after all”, “girls have to put on make-up to be pretty”. The meaning of beauty is varied: there is physical beauty and beauty of the soul. Beauty is not a yardstick for a person, because beauty is relative and has many meanings.

However, in this millennial era, a person's beauty has become a yardstick and a marker of social strata. On average, people view beauty only in terms of physical appearance. In Indonesia, there is a very strong mindset that a beautiful woman must have fair and smooth skin, a pointed nose, and a tall and slim figure. If a woman does not meet these specifications, she is not counted among beautiful women.

Even though women have tried to improve themselves in order to be respected by society, in the eyes of society women are often considered weak and powerless. Women are also often regarded merely as objects of lust, so that harassment of women occurs frequently. The number of criminal cases of indecency in Indonesia has even risen by 31% over the last five years. Between 2016 and 2021, the number of such cases rose from 5,237 to 6,872. Komnas Perempuan (the National Commission on Violence Against Women) also states that every 2 hours, 3 Indonesian women become victims of sexual violence.

Yet in cases of sexual violence, many women still choose to remain silent. Not because they do not want to report, but because they are surrounded by fear. Nowadays, a woman who is a victim of sexual violence is often the one who is blamed. Whether it is because of the clothes she wore, the way she walks, or how she behaves in public, and so on. Yet if we look at the reported data, it is not only adult women who become victims, but also many young children who are still underage, even children who have not yet started school, who have become victims of sexual violence.

Victims should be supported, not blamed. As fellow human beings, we must support one another. But in this era, support from women themselves is somewhat remarkable. Instead of giving support as an expression of “girls support girls”, the opposite happens: women criticise and even bring each other down. They leave bad comments if a woman does not conform to, or differs from, society's views. Besides bad comments, some send private messages from unknown numbers or fake accounts to convey their hatred toward someone.

As technology develops, our mindset as users of that technology must also develop. In this day and age, we must be able to respect one another without regard to a person's caste, status or gender. Let us open a new perspective on old matters, support one another, accept criticism or suggestions, and change our view of others, recognising that everyone is different. Do not equate our standards with other people's standards. As in the motto Bhinneka Tunggal Ika, which means different yet still one.

https://matabanua.co.id/2022/02/28/salahkah-menjadi-seorang-perempuan/